What a hero looks like

So, this is a VERY hot topic right now. Apparently, the country is divided on which side to sit. Me, personally, I am on NEITHER side. Why, because I feel BOTH parties were in the wrong. What am I talking about? The owner of the restaurant who had the audacity to yell at a 21 month old child who was making a fuss.

Alright. Let's back up a little shall we?
A family decides to eat a meal at a diner on a busy Saturday. They are told the wait is roughly 30 minutes. *note - as a parent of a young toddler - there is no way that we would be able to wait for 30 minutes inside of a busy restaurant* They decide to stay because they are sure everywhere else will be just as bad. *note - as a parent of a young toddler - there is no way that we would have been able to wait for 30 minutes inside a busy restaurant!!* This family did NOT bring anything for their child to do. *WHY???? You are a MOM TO A TODDLER?!* We can all imagine things did not go so well.

The family finally got a table and made their order. The owner informed them that they should CHANGE their order because a 21 month old does not need 3 full size pancakes. Okay ... stop. I'm sorry. But if *THEY* are the paying party and they are WILLING to PAY for those pancakes ... what?! I am still stumbling on this one. Here's the deal. If you are NOT able to MAKE those pancakes, STATE SO or take them OFF the order. It's that simple. Observe:

• Family - "We would like 3 full size pancakes for our daughter."


• Waitress - "I'm sorry. With how full we are at the present moment, we are unable to make those. Can I offer you "x" along with the 3 small pancakes as a substitute?"

K. See what I did there? That was SO easy ... and rational! Instead, that didn't happen. The owner began to snap. It took FORTY MINUTES for them to make the meal. I'm sorry ... I really cannot speak on this, as I was not there to know what else they ordered and what else was being placed at the same time. What I DO know though, is that the owner STATES that they WAITED to do the order because they only have so much space. Dude ... NO! You do your orders IN ORDER. What the heck?! You don't PURPOSELY wait on a meal. Just do NOT OFFER IT if you cannot do it. It really is that simple! In addition, IF you KNOW it's going to be a while, ask if they would like to order some fruit or an appetizer that can be out in a matter of minutes to help fend off the crankies. Guess what's gonna happen ... the parents are going to be like "Dude, this is an AWESOME place. We MUST tell all our friends!"
Now ... I get it. PLEASE do not get me wrong. I have serious problems with control, anxiety, and sensory issues. If I get overwhelmed, I feel like screaming, throwing up, crying, and hitting things ... all at once. Guess what ... I had to lose my kids for 11 months and get psychiatric help to learn more about myself and how to cope. I learned that I cannot do normal jobs. I just can't. I don't have it in me. It pushes me beyond what I can handle. So, I get it.

• You are the busiest you have ever been.


• Child is fussing in your establishment.


• The order placed is bigger than you can handle.


• You feel pressured to get food out and keep everyone else happy.

Yup, you explode. Guess what ... it does not make you a hero. You know what it makes you? An adult that is yelling and crying about a child who is yelling and crying. Yeah ... hypocrite. YOU just dropped yourself to the level of that child. Please note - IT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE TO YELL AT A CHILD. Did you catch that? NEVER!

Alright, so ... here's what I feel SHOULD have transpired.

1. The parents are 1/2 of the problem in this ENTIRE situation. Guys ... your child is 21 months. Please do not put unrealistic expectations on that child. Do not do what I did. Do not go down that path. Take things for your children to do while in the restaurant. Bring snacks for them to munch on. Play games with the things that are on the table. The list goes on. If the wait is 30 minutes, one of the parents should take the child somewhere else. Go sit in your vehicle and jam to some tunes. Go into a store next door. Do SOMETHING besides force that child to sit for 30 minutes.

2. The owner NEVER should have yelled at that child. EVER. That owner should have gone over to the adults (again, who were 1/2 of the problem) and told them calmly that they needed to either satiate their child, or their meal would be boxed for them to take it and go. Don't even ASK if they want it to go. It's not an option. Their options are either a) leave or b) hush the child. If that doesn't work, then let them know that they can either take their meal and go (even be willing to comp the meal to get them to go) or inform them that you will call security for assistance. If she had done that ... THEN she would be a hero. Yes ... THAT is what a hero looks like people. A hero is a person who KNOWS that there is a problem and deals with it in a sane manner.

3. The ENTIRE THING should have STAYED OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. Good Lordy. I LOVE social media. Don't get me wrong. I have NO problem posting reviews and stating when I have been disappointed in a service. But I watch how I word it. I want others to know that I have been disappointed, but I want to give the business a chance to make it right. What's worse ... the owner has a FILTHY mouth. She is not a hero. She is a raging lunatic. Her responses on social media were absolutely ... just WOW. Okay ... since when is a person a HERO when they are threatening violence and telling the parents they should be "thankful" that she REALLY didn't go nuts. Girl ... you need a reality check. You CANNOT run a business that way. You just can't! It is verbal abuse ... it is an assault ... and it is a threat. It does NOT make you a hero. At All ... in ANY way.

So, here's the deal ... everyone was in the wrong. The parents were very much in the wrong. Eating out stresses me out, so I get it ... but yeah, you can't make everyone else's life hell too. Sorry. Not allowed. Deal with your children, come prepared, or grab something at a gas station and go back to your hotel. However ... a hero does not blow up at a 21 month old. A hero does not throw things angrily on a table. A hero does not tell people they should be thankful she didn't really go nuts. A hero does not make everyone else uncomfortable. No ... a hero calms the situation.

Parents messed up. Owner is a lunatic. Case Closed.