Mental Health Awareness Week

So this month is when people are taught about many different things that are very important. Fountains will turn pink, stores will turn pink, and you can find almost every business cashing in on breast cancer awareness. However, breast cancer awareness is not the only thing that October is for. It is also when Pregnancy and Infant Loss is remembered, as well as Domestic Violence and Cerebral Palsy.

It is also when mental health conditions are remembered. At the beginning of the month, I participated in a Suicide Prevention Walk with American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I was able to finish two of the three miles before I became too overwhelmed to continue. I have lost people I have admired to suicide... but I also have friends and family who battle depression and suicidal thoughts. I walked for them.

I walked because there was a point in time when my depression was so severe that I did contemplate why I was still around. I wondered if anyone would care if I did disappear. I don't know that I ever thought about being dead, more along the lines of just disappearing and never being heard from again.

I walked because I have family members that I love more than life itself who I could not imagine not being here. They bring so much into my life and lessons that I need to learn. I walked because I did not want them to feel ashamed for battling depression.

I walked because I have friends who have lost loved ones to suicide. I don't know the words to say or how to comfort them. I'm sorry never feels like enough, and they can begin to feel like empty words. I walked because I felt like it was a way for me to say, "I hear you. I love you. I'm here for you to cry on."

Here's the thing I want to get across.

Depression is not always a visible hurt. People can be smiling on the outside and dying on the inside. Not everyone knew that Robin Williams was battling depression. Barely anyone knew that I was battling postpartum depression. It's not something I like to talk about. It's embarrassing not being able to be in control of your emotions and break down. I feel like a failure as a mother when depression creeps in. I have been given beautiful children to love and support, but it's not always easy to see that sunshine.

In addition, other mental illnesses and neurological disorders can lead to depression. My children have high needs. Until I found other parents who battle the same things in their house, I felt very alone. HOWEVER, I would have NEVER found those parents if I didn't reach out. I formed this blog to be a place to bring community. To talk about what it's like having children who battle selective mutism ... who battle ADHD ... who battle meltdowns in the middle of school ... who battle the looks people give you when you cannot keep shoes and socks on a child ... who battle the walking on egg shells ...

I want this place to be a place of understanding ... of community ... of education. This blog was built to be my personal outlet, but it isn't just for me. I find it AMAZING the number of people that I talk to and bring awareness to neurological disorders that realize they finally know where to find the tools and resources to do the best they can for their children.

I want to leave you with this quote (and then some pictures from Out of the Darkness Walk 2015 KC):

Some things may never get better, but your ability to deal with that problem will improve. ~ Wayne Kirk