B - Bullying

Bullying is something that just gets to everyone. No one likes bullies ... unless you're the bully. Unfortunately, it is easier for a child to be picked on if they are not "normal." I put that word in quotation marks because I have yet to determine exactly what "normal" is. I have three children who have an acronym diagnosis and then a child that is theoretically neurotypical. However, I would not classify her as normal. *laugh*

Children with acronym diagnoses, especially ASD will find bullying happens more often. Autism often comes with a lot of other diagnoses or symptoms. Children find it hard to speak, and they may even stutter. Other children find they run more awkwardly than others. When you add in the inability to control movements or sounds, then you run into all sorts of things to be picked on.

It may be difficult for your child to tell you if they are feeling bullied. Therefore, it is vital that you learn the signs that bullying is taking place and figure out a way to make your child feel comfortable talking to you. If you notice any of the following, it is possible that your child is battling a bully at school:

• withdrawing more than normal
• change in sleep pattern
• disheveled
• increase in meltdowns
• anxiety attacks
• sudden reluctance to attend school or other activities where bullying is taking place
• unexplained bruises or injuries

With my son, we had a severe incident of bullying taking place. A child in his class continued to pick on him and bait him. Bullfrog would end up in the recovery room because he didn't handle it well and then felt like none of the teachers believed his story. His meltdowns at school and his performance at school continued to suffer. He was prohibited from going on field trips because he was a liability outside of the school building. Finally, it came to a head when his phone was stolen. His teacher wasn't even aware he had a phone. I told her that's cause it was for HIM to be able to have so he could walk home from school if he so chose. It was not to be out at school. I felt SUPER guilty because no one knew he had it at school until I sent him a text message and it wasn't on silent. He told his teacher who he believed had stolen the phone and then talked with us about possible solutions.

This phone was a replacement phone for his really nice one that finally died. We weren't going to put much money into a new phone for him until he was older and really used the phone for anything other than calling us when he needed to. Therefore, the child who had been picking on Bullfrog and eventually stole his phone REALLY lucked out. Because when we found out it was him, we could have pressed charges had it been the previous phone. We could have with the one as well, since stealing property is still theft, but it was a $20 phone and the school was handling it. However, with the other phone, the value would have been much higher, and we would have had no problem letting the police step in. The teacher assured me that they were handling it with their protocol, and I informed her that with how the bullying had been handled so far, if I chose to go to the police, there was nothing she could say or do to stop me.

I HATED the fact that I had to get MEAN about the situation. I feel that the responsibility to protect children from bullying is not only on the parents, but also the school. When I finally put my foot down, we stopped having issues at school. My son has had a few issues, but it is clear that he is feeling less intimidated and picked on. He even participated in a school play that he tried out for.

Bullying is real. While it happens to many children, according to the National Autism Association, children with special needs are "two to three times" more likely to be picked on.