When every day is a struggle

I am not going to beat around the bush here, life with four children living in your home, going to school full time, and having a husband who has a full time job AND part time job makes life a struggle. Some days it is extremely easy to be upbeat and constantly moving. Then other days you have to remember that you have to redefine your normal and be okay with that.

So, I had this grand plan to write each day that dealt with a letter to cover the autism spectrum. April didn't really work that way with me. I am still planning on writing them, but it will not be the way I wanted. I am coming to terms with that. That is part of me redefining what is normal for me. What I need to be okay with. It doesn't come easy though, because I hate having plans and great ideas but not being able to see them through.

What does it mean to redefine your normal and handle when each day seems to be a struggle?



Redefining Normal ~

Let me tell you how I redefined normal for me. This does not mean it is how you should redefine normal ... but it might give you a place to start.

The first place I began was to stop looking at Instagram, Facebook, and even other blogs when it comes to what houses look like and how children behave. For me, that is NOT my normal. I will never have a pristine home that can be used as a photography studio or video set up. I will likely never have children that will pose all great in photos and make each other swoon or say "awww." I will likely never have the children that stand up in front of conferences and talk about how they are accepting of how each other are and how much they hate others talking bad about their sibling. At least not while they are young.

Next, I have to realize that what I want to happen in the house is not likely to happen. I spend most of my day exhausted. To get everything done, I have to get up early and go all day and then still stay up late at night. This isn't possible ... or at least it isn't sustainable. Therefore, I rotate. I get up early some mornings, stay up late other days, and then some days push through nap. My new normal is exhaustion. I cannot delegate because when I do, it leads to extreme stress because things will not get done. This is my normal.

There are days when I wake and feel like I am just giving up ... then other days when I wake and remember that I have a different type of normal. There are days when I am able to embrace the non-stop noise ... and other days when I just cannot take it.

Handling my life with children who have different needs is not the same as parents who have neuro-typical children. Most of the time I am okay with remembering that my life will not be the same as what you see online ... then other days when I just want to shout a big eff you to those who are able to parent without raising their voice, discipline without losing temper, have children who just pop in and help out without having to be bribed.

So ... where does that leave me? I will get to my blog as often as I can. I will talk about the rest of the letters that I meant to get done in April. I will be okay with things working on a different timeline. That is because this is my normal.