New Beginnings

Every time I turn around, I am sure I have hit rock bottom and the only way is up. I have been shown time and time again that I need to just learn to live for the day and not think about tomorrow. I have spent the majority of the last week rebuilding walls and reminding myself that I am much stronger than I feel. I am going to try to get back into writing things down, either here or in my journal, or maybe both. Might try writing them down in my journal and then organize my thoughts here. I have been missing for over a year and only a select few really truly know how dark things had gotten. I don't like to talk about my demons very much but I want to at least catch you guys up to where I am at right now.



In January of 2017, Jeremy and I filed for divorce. This was something that has been brewing for a while, but we hid it well behind pictures of perfection. I can tell you that both of us made mistakes, that no one is perfect. I will also state that I will be very cautious about what I write in this blog about my relationship with my ex-husband because he is the father of my children and he has made massive changes. However, the divorce has been something that has rocked my world. I woke to no money, no home, no kids, and no spouse. I spent much of last year in a severe depression and really have struggled coming out of it. I tried to drink myself to death for a couple months and tried lying to others that everything was okay. Everything was definitely not okay ... everything is still not okay ... and I honestly can't tell you when it will be, but I have to believe that some day it will be.

I finally landed a job at McDonald's in May of 2017 and quickly moved up there making a name for myself. I NORMALLY love my job. It is EXTREMELY stressing and taxing. I am on call 24-7-365, but I love my crew and am still there today. After getting everything back in order and working an ungodly amount of hours over the holidays, I landed my own apartment in January. My oldest daughter has moved in and we are beginning to form a new life as a single mom and teenager. I have a feeling this blog will be heavily about my life struggling with the parenting of a teenager, dealing with children who are still stuck in the middle of the divorce, and my stresses as management in a corporate fast food chain. My life is still crazy busy and I am still just scraping by ... but I wouldn't change it for the world.

I am Birdy ... I am Wonder Woman ... I am strong ... and this is only just another new beginning!