Taking my life back

Over the last few weeks, I have been battling horrifically bad depression ... complete with suicidal thoughts. I have not been eating much, hardly sleeping, and sending my energy to a very very sick friend. With him on the mend, I am in the process of taking my life back ... along with the assistance from a few friends. I decided that it was time to take to my blog because it holds me accountable.

From the Start

I am 38 years old and know that my health is not in the best. I smoke, I drink, and I don't eat that great. My cholesterol levels are fine, but my white blood cell counts are high and I battle many acronym diagnoses. For you to be able to follow my journey, I feel you should know a little insight on me.

1. I'm Spiritual but Not Religious

For those who did not know ... I have left the Mormon religion. There are many reasons why, but I am not going back. I have battled with my beliefs for decades, and I know that it disappoints my family. I am finally to a point in my life where I just have to do me and not worry about the rest. This means that I am beginning to realize exactly what I believe. I do believe there is a higher power ... beyond that, I am not really sure I have set feelings. I believe highly in energy transfer ... as I have seen it work twice. In addition, I receive premonitions. I know many do not believe in this type of thing, but I have experienced them since I was in high school I call them my demons. I have also felt unbelievably depleted as I have sent the energy elsewhere, or when I discover what my premonitions ended up meaning. What this means for me is I need to make sure that I change my diet and increase meditation and yoga while I am helping others. This is going to be on my to-do list.

2. Knowing Blood Type and Food Conflicts

Believe it or not, your blood type can have affect on how food affects your body. I had NO idea until I started cutting things out due to physical reactions to the food. Now I am learning that there are actually studies that have shown the foods that don't agree with me is NORMAL for people with my blood type. I have been reading more of what foods to eat based on my blood type, and looking to dive more into this information.

3. My Health Battles

So, what health battles do I have? I mean, my cholesterol is fine ... my weight is dropping ... I don't have heart disease, obesity, or some other scary disorder ... so what is so horrible? I battle MDD (Major Depressive Disorder), Severe Anxiety, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and my physician also believes I also should be diagnosed with Asperger's (I have zero desire to go through all the testing so I just treat the sensory issues). In addition to mental battles, I also battle health issues. The two biggest ones that often get in the way of my daily life are joint pain and IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). I have known for a long time that dairy and my body do no get along, but I have been TERRIBLE about following that diet. I am in the process of changing that.

My Game Plan

So what is my game plan? It isn't going to happen overnight, that's for sure. However, I am making small changes and plan to blog about them as I fight to reclaim myself again.

• Whole, plant based diet with the addition of fish for healthy omegas
• Limited gluten to work with my blood type
• Quit smoking
• Increase yoga and other forms of meditation
• Get off soda and make water, coffee, & tea my go-to drinks

You will notice that my Pinterest will be getting a complete overhaul and my blog may make me look like a hippie. I can tell you with the small changes that I have already made, I am feeling better and sleeping better. I look forward to sharing my journey with my virtual friends, as I see my health improve.