Trip to the Twilight Zone

Sometime overnight between Friday and Saturday, I took a trip into the Twilight Zone. It lasted until this evening, but I know I was awake because I attended some terrific sessions with Wordcamp KC. It felt like an parallel universe ... and it was awesome!

So, what do I mean I went into the Twilight Zone?

Source: By SunOfErat (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

LEGO KIDSFEST IS COMING!

I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!! LEGO KidsFest is coming to Kansas City again this year and I get to take my kids. They are SO into LEGOs and this is going to be heaven for them. Why? Because ...

Seriously! If you see nothing but LEGOs all around you, how can you NOT be in heaven? *Parents keep shoes on or suffer the pain of stepping on LEGOs*

C - Causes & Cures

This post is going to be a fairly short one. It is the discussion of many debates, and I think it is vital that it be brought up. If nothing else, so you know my views.

I personally do not believe there is anything outside of gene mutation that causes autism. I do not believe that if a mother eats or drinks specific food that it causes it. I do not believe that vaccines cause it. Now ... I DO believe that there are negative reactions to high levels of metals. I DO believe the links from autism and Fragile X. There are many things I do agree with .. but I do not believe if you do x, y, or z, you are going to end up with a child that has autism.

B - Bullying

Bullying is something that just gets to everyone. No one likes bullies ... unless you're the bully. Unfortunately, it is easier for a child to be picked on if they are not "normal." I put that word in quotation marks because I have yet to determine exactly what "normal" is. I have three children who have an acronym diagnosis and then a child that is theoretically neurotypical. However, I would not classify her as normal. *laugh*

Children with acronym diagnoses, especially ASD will find bullying happens more often. Autism often comes with a lot of other diagnoses or symptoms. Children find it hard to speak, and they may even stutter. Other children find they run more awkwardly than others. When you add in the inability to control movements or sounds, then you run into all sorts of things to be picked on.

A - Asperger’s

So this month carries two things ... the first is it is Autism Awareness Month. You will not see me donate a dime to or promote Autism Speaks. I abhor the group. I will talk about them more in a couple days when I discuss the letter, "C." The second is just that ... letters. The month of April is the annual Blogging A to Z Challenge. I normally do a big reveal on the blog, but I didn't get around to it this year. However, I am going to ATTEMPT to get through it this year. I feel like I say that every year and always fail. So, I have selected a topic that I am passionate about and want to get more info on.

This year ... my topic selection is the Autism Spectrum. I HATE adding the D on the end, because I feel that disorder is so negative ... I would rather just say Autism Spectrum Diagnosis. There is SO much that goes into autism that it is very important to be clear that just because you know someone who has a child that battles the symptoms autism brings, you cannot say that you have seen it all.

My life got crazy, but I have a GIVEAWAY to apologize!

This blog has been much neglected over the last few months. I apologize. I have a lot that I need to update on, but let's talk about that title first! *PS - read to the bottom to get to the entering part*

I am being compensated for this post by USFG and LEGO by being allowed to take my family to KidsFest 2016 in KC. THEY are providing the two free passes for my readers!

Rough days mean extra comfort

I knew this week was going to be rough. I just didn't have any idea of how rough. My eldest has continued with her struggles with ADHD and it is now beginning to affect her in school. She has HUGE plans, so this just wasn't going to do. My son found out last week that his teacher was going to be pushing group work, so he already knew that his anxiety was going to be taxed. My little Monkey also knew that she would have a different teacher, but didn't realize it would be in another area of the school and she would have a different bus all together.

What this led to was meltdowns ... from ALL of my children. Thankfully, they were all meltdowns that extra squeezes from mom (or a little rocking) helped care for. Their sensory banks were just completely empty by the end of the week.
Peanut went in to see her psychiatrist this week and we all agreed that medication would be necessary. She has done GREAT with behavior modification for her defiance and OCD coping skills. She still has some room to grow, but she is doing SO much better. However, she has two phobias that she just cannot get over. The first is Trypanophobia, or the fear of needles. Normally, this is only a situation when we go in for vaccines. HOWEVER, this week she was informed she would have to have a blood draw and an EKG done to make sure she was completely healthy and ready for the stimulants.

Yup ... she melted down when the needle was present. I held her the WHOLE time and wiped her tears. We made sure she was completely calm before she went in for the EKG, and that nurse made her day by giving her suckers. I don't care if she is 12 years old ... snuggling with mom and getting a sucker after being poked and prodded is always comforting.

Now, Bullfrog on the other hand, he forgot his lunch on Wednesday. He had been taxed all week with the new surroundings, rules, and teacher. When he realized he forgot his lunch, he had convinced himself that he couldn't eat the school lunch because he had no money on his card and that I wouldn't bring him a lunch. Both were false, but he still took himself to the Recovery Room to wait for me while his class was in the lunch room. I gave him a few squeezes and filled his sensory bank just enough for him to make it through the rest of the day (which was good since his teacher had them do group math work).

Monkey ... poor girl, she is still trying to cope. She had a new teacher, a new classroom layout, new bus, new bus driver, and then next week she will start daycare in the morning. She has been trying so hard to keep it together during school that she just collapses when she gets home. Last night was really rough and she woke from dead sleep needing mom. She needed more hugs and rocking tonight. We will see if she can make it through the night or not.

How did the first week going for you guys? Or, have your kids not started yet?

A seeker's paradise!

I have two children who are on the autism spectrum and BOTH are seekers when it comes to sensory processing. They need to be squeezed by someone they feel as safe when they are overloaded, need to jump, tackle, and otherwise be all over everything. In an apartment (or townhome), that can be a tad difficult.

Earlier this year, I was given the opportunity to check out SkyZone back in April for my daughter's fourth birthday. We let Monkey get the birthday party since we knew that this would be a way for her to have a party without feeling overwhelmed.

We were right and wrong. Monkey did LOVE SkyZone, but she was NOT a fan of the massive amount of people and loud music. Thankfully, SkyZone holds a Sensory Night. They try for every month, but it has been every other month, with the last one being held on Monday.


Last week, however, they held a Back to School bash. During this week, they brought back the decal promotion. This promotion allows drivers to put a SkyZone decal on their vehicle for 30 days, put it on social media, and then get free jumps as payment. We will be getting 6 hours free ($108 value).

Decal going on

Making sure it was clean and sealed

He's excited, I promise!

The van at home!

Support is everything

One of the biggest things for me as a parent of higher needs children is support. I am not going to lie, I have not always had the support I have now. Guess what, that is the norm when it comes to parenting. Even more so when your child acts out or otherwise makes it difficult to go be with other kids.

When Bullfrog was younger, he would act out all the time (course, we STILL have issues with this now) and I would be forced to leave in the middle of an event or just stay home with him. I began to feel very alone and suffered swings in depression. Then when I delivered my little Monkey, I was hitting rock bottom. She didn't talk much, she cried a lot, she needed to ALWAYS have something in her mouth and her suction was STRONG ... it was just bad. My husband was working many, MANY, hours. I knew that there was something off, but everyone was telling me that I was just putting too much into it.

Does any of this resonate with you? Yes? Guess what ... you are NOT alone. It took YEARS of fighting and finally deciding that I didn't care what others said, I was taking them in. However, once I got the diagnosis, I was left with this big "now what" looming over me.

I turned to social media and joined several Facebook groups. I started following blogs that gave me insight on handling my precious children. The children who wanted to make friends and wanted to be like everyone else. I found a local group called Autism Society - The Heartland. As soon as I was able, I paid my $30 membership fees for my family. Today I finally got to take my kids to an event. It was at one of our favorite pools, but I knew that everyone around would be on the autism spectrum. My babies felt so comfortable with everyone. Parents could chat with each other knowing that being interrupted by a meltdown was completely normal. No one judged anyone, or looked funny to someone whose child wasn't sitting still.

Bliss. Freedom. Relaxation.

I felt at home. My kids felt accepted. My neuro-normal children made friends and had a great time. This was just the perfect way to end summer with my children.

What is living in acronym hell?

So, I thought it would be best to start a new personal blog, and leave my Redbird Empire blog to be more about business related topics. While I absolutely love talking about my kids and my life, it is hard to separate that from coding, electronics, technology, social media, and everything else that Redbird Empire is about. It only made sense to start a blog that was my personal life. I thought for a long time about what to call my personal blog, because there are so many cool names out there.

However, after the past few years of being diagnosed and treated for PPD, having suffered from PTSD, having a psychiatrist tell me that I have ADD (in addition to bi-polar and OCD), then being told I DIDN'T have bi-polar ... but rather GAD & OCD. I started to wonder how much more of the alphabet could be shoved into my life. You know what, never wonder these things! My eldest daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD & OCD. She talks about her life on her blog at Marvel-ously Talented. My son has been diagnosed with extreme anxiety, and possibly Asperger's (pending more testing). Oh, and he has SPD. My second daughter, who is four, has been diagnosed with SPD, which is now classified as a manifestation of ASD.

What in tarnation am I talking about? For those who do know, you are probably crying along with me. But for those who are just visiting my site because you know me from Redbird Empire, let me define.

• PPD - Post-Partum Depression
• ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder
• PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
• OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
• GAD - General Anxiety Disorder
• ADHD - Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
• SPD - Sensory Processing Disorder
• ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder

My goal with my new site is to show you what life is like in my house. However, maybe more importantly, it is to give me a place to talk about what I go through and feel a way to breathe. Maybe someone who has already gone through the same things would love to give insight for me. Maybe someone else is feeling so overwhelmed and they do not know which way to turn. I am not deleting my past blog posts at Redbird Empire. You can still find them. I will edit this post after I get the finalized location set. I plan on making them accessible through a link so they do not distract from my budding business.

I hope this site continues to grow and become a place where I can feel that it is no longer hell ... but just normal life. Parenting is hard. Parenting with severe anxiety is extremely hard. I just want one day for it to feel "normal."

Birthday Parties & Sensory Children

If you are like me and have sensory children ... whether it is autism, Asperger's, or just Sensory Processing Disorder ... birthday parties can ring fear in your hearts. There is a lot of noise, a lot of people, the variable temperature changes ... did I mention a lot of noise and people?

I KNEW this going into yesterday. We were invited to a very dear friend's party yesterday. Her daughter is 6 months older than my Turtle. We RARELY get to see each other because she's moved out-of-state. When I heard the party was going to be at Pump-It-Up, I was guarded but hopeful. I have to say, regardless of a few snags, I was very happy with how well yesterday went!



In all reality, I did set myself up on Saturday. Saturday morning was our monthly CoderDoJoKC meet. Peanut and Bullfrog LOVE going, although, sometimes I think that Peanut likes it more. She has really gotten into coding and has begun to build some pretty complex things in Scratch. This is the second month she has taken 1st place with her project, so she submitted it for Scratch Mastery. That will be presented next month.

CoderDoJo is all about trying to get children to get into coding, and our group has grown to having 100 kids PLUS a waiting list EVERY month. It is so awesome to see every month and watch the children learn. However, it is also very taxing on my son with his sensory issues.





So, I shouldn't be surprised that if he was already melting down before noon ... that 2pm wasn't going to be much better. However, I knew that it would be WORSE if he didn't go with us to the party.

We ended up getting there about 15 minutes late (my bad because I needed a power nap to tackle my anxiety-induced exhaustion). The first room was the BEST for all FOUR of my children. There was a slide (Turtle's favorite), a bounce house with basketball goals, and an obstacle course. It had something for every age range. LOVED it! There was also enough space that it didn't feel like ALL the kids were bunched together.



However, after 40 minutes ... we left the room where sensory children all got along. The next room was not as much fun for the younger children. There was a slide ... but it required you to pull yourself up through several layers of netting. This meant my wonderful son was NOT able to go up ... nor Turtle (who was irate at that concept). My son has issues with things that do not have sure footing. This includes walking and standing on nets. He tried a few times, but it all ended up with meltdowns. The other things to play with was a large bounce house, Nerf ball shooter, and an interactive floor mat. This room was met with doom.



I ended up having to take Bullfrog out before the play time ended. He just had enough and everything was causing meltdowns. He didn't want to leave, but I saw the warning signs and I didn't want him to completely lose it at the party. When I was taking him out ... the most awesome thing happened ... one of the employees asked him if he was okay. When I explained that he's just in sensory overload, he said this:

"I totally get it. I have Asperger's and some days are harder than others. Aspie fist bump for making it this long."

Bullfrog took a few minutes to recover, but he was able to enjoy the remainder of the party. I know that if I had not pulled him out and put him in the quiet room ... that wouldn't have happened.





So, why do I feel that Pump-It-Up is great for sensory children?

• Several activities in every room so it divides up the groups of people


• Keep people moving so boredom doesn't occur


• Routine kept, without feeling like there's a schedule


• Large party rooms that allow children to sprawl

I do wish that there was an ability to reserve only one play room ... or have the ability to go back and forth. Especially considering ages and activities available. I didn't like the fact that two of my children weren't able to do much of anything in the second room. It was also difficult dealing with the strong emotions from Bullfrog when he just wanted to go into the room that had things he could enjoy.

Overall ... it was a great birthday party. I am so glad I was able to see friends and celebrate another year. It is also showed me a location that I could throw a party at for my children in the future, without having to be super stressed about all the details!

Staying Sane in Sensory Hell

I'm not going to lie, today has been absolutely horrid. I have NO idea what sparked today, but it was just the pits. My eldest had an attitude most of the morning ... thankfully, that broke after a phone call with her father. My two children on the autism spectrum were both in a funk. My son (with tentative Asperger's diagnosis - handling with therapy at the moment) was just meltdown city and anger over everything. He was either really up or really down. My little Monkey just had a downright AWFUL day. She was in sensory hell. She was either crying for her tablet so she could completely zone out, just crying, asking for everything to be blue (seems to be her control), asking for a hug, or refusing to talk at all. It was AWFUL.

You know, these are days that I simply want to pack it in and give up on this parenting thing. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what we had done differently today. We had a day yesterday where our schedule was messed up, but they were all fine yesterday. Or was that just the calm before the storm? I really do not know. What I do know is that I needed to do something that would prevent today from rolling into tonight and over to tomorrow.

I love this quote. I did not cite it because it is usually attributed to Martin Luther King, but there are some sources that say he wasn't the one who originally said it. However, the point stands ... even if I knew that everything would disappear tomorrow, I would keep today as normal as possible. I do this for my children ... I do this for me.

So, my normal Monday thru Friday has us up by 8am, at breakfast by 8:30am, goofing off until lunch at noon, and then some sort of afternoon activity. Today, when all but one of my children woke in a horrifically crabby mood, it was SO tempting to just say screw it, and send them back to bed. However, I KNEW that if I did that ... the odds of things getting worse were great. I stood firm.

The turbulence blew in as soon as we got home. The older two got into it with each other and with me. I finally gave in and pulled their dad in to help with the situation. One child was able to pull it together, while the other continued in a funk. I stood firm.

We had a fairly mild afternoon. Peanut had cheer camp (which she talks about on her blog) and planned to ride the Metro home. We had gone over the route and she had a charged phone just in case. However, she didn't want to call me (even though it was POURING) because she REALLY wanted to ride the bus. She went straight when she was supposed to turn, and ended up 5 blocks from her bus stop. No big deal. I picked her up and we talked about the mistake. Told her that she can try again tomorrow when she has her next practice. She is so excited about the independence. I'm a nervous wreck ... but I think that's the role of the mom.

Once I got home with her, I took a power nap because my anxiety had taken everything out of me. The girls had fallen asleep so it was safe. It wasn't until I woke that MORE turbulence blew in. I'm really glad I had that power nap. Bullfrog was grumping about wanting a specific fork (I have no idea) and Monkey was fussing because she wanted a blue cup. We didn't have any blue cups clean, but she was convinced. It was just really bad. She refused dinner, refused to say thank you when we found a blue sippy, etc. She spent a great deal of time in her room trying to calm down but wouldn't really talk to us about it at all. We finally got her to snap out of it with a different dinner (all she wanted was her blue sippy with water, sun butter, and S'Mores Oreos) and some strong hugs.

So ... how did I stay sane? Well, I went to Dollar General and I bought the kids S'Mores Oreos (mentioned above) and decided that I would just treat them because of all the work they had done over the summer so far. They knew that I could surprise them at any time. Therefore, I felt the S'Mores were not a reward for poor behavior, but rather a treat they had already earned. It took everyone and put them in a good mood. I can go to bed knowing that I have happy children, despite the really cruddy day ... and pray tomorrow is better.

Now I ask you ... how do you stay sane and repair a day that is just perfectly awful? Do you have children who have higher needs? What are ways that you deal with the meltdowns (I am NOT talking temper fits ... these are meltdowns).

Summer is Among Us

Well, to some people summer brings great joy and others it brings terror. It all depends on how many children you have and how prepared you are. For me, I have a love/hate relationship with summer. I have four children, three of them are in school, so the lack of structure is extremely painful. In years past, I have made a bucket list of things to do over the summer. I am not doing that this year ... well, not exactly.

See ... here's my struggle. I have 2 children that finished school right before Memorial Day, but I have one child who doesn't end until June 8. In addition, I have 3 children who are in therapy for various issues. My oldest will be meeting with a therapist once a week for a couple of hours, as well as attend a group therapy that meets once a week and is ALL DAY long. Then, my two middle children are learning how to cope with their sensory issues with an OT. This makes creating a bucket list difficult.

However ... we DO plan on enjoying our summer. We have a few things that we will be doing and squeezing into the summer. A few of the things we have planned can be done at any time, which makes it a little easier. So ... what is in store for my crazy bunch this summer?

• WordCamp KC (me)


• Kansas City Developer Conference (husband and me)


• SeaLife KC (kids and me)


• Splash parks


• 4th of July Celebration at Pierson Park


• Theater in the Park (kids)


• Kids Free Bowling (whole family)


• Sensory Night at SkyZone KC (Monkey's favorite activity - see flyer below)

So ... what is on your plate this summer?

Because I'm all about the deals ...

Cause I'm all about those deals, bout those deals, bout those deals ... super thrifty!

Okay, so MAYBE I need to think of a new line, but I have the ability to review a great place here in KC that allows me to be super thrifty but not sacrifice the fun. Sky Zone Kansas City is giving Adella the chance to have a birthday party with a couple of her close friends.

So ... what does a birthday party package at Sky Zone Kansas City include? Glad you asked!

• 90 minutes of jump time
• One party room
• 3 One-topping pizzas (THREE)
• Unlimited soft drinks (or water)
• SkySocks for ALL jumpers
• Party for TEN jumpers

It's hard to get excited about a place if you have never heard about it though ... so, let me give you a little 411 on Sky Zone Kansas City.

First, Sky Zone is not just in Kansas City. They have locations all over the United States and some throughout the world! It is the world's FIRST indoor trampoline park. Their goal is to give you a workout, but you (and the children) will see it as fun.

They have been labeled with having a great out of the box workout and the best party experience ever. Those are things you just can't ignore ... did I mention that the party is all inclusive?!

If your children a thrill seekers (or like mine and are sensory driven) they will thoroughly enjoy Sky Zone. We were talking about having Bullfrog's party here because of his Sensory Processing Disorder. He would be able to have a party with a lot of noise, without it affecting him! This is HUGE for me.

As you can see in the picture above, Sky Zone is for ALL ages! They will keep jumpers safe by separating the groups based on sizes.

Now, here's the bonus! My readers can save $3 off the open jump price at Sky Zone and 10% off a SUPREME* birthday  party package. Simply click on the Sky Zone coupon below for more information and redeem. Note - this coupon is for the Sky Zone Kansas City location ONLY

Sky Zone Kansas City Deal

Supreme Party Includes:

• 24 jumpers (up to 18 jumpers for open jump; 20-24 for dodgeball)
• 60 minutes private court jump time
• 5 One-topping pizzas
• Unlimited soft drinks (or water)
• 1 ice cream treat