What books would possibly cause this dilemma? Well, it's not Harry Potter ... nor is it Twilight. I have let her read both series (although she hasn't gotten clear through a series yet). No ... what she caught me off guard with first was a book series called Mortal Instruments.
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Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instruments Series (5 books) |
I have to admit, I have never heard of this Mortal Instruments series. I immediately freaked because how could my daughter be ready for books about werewolves, vampires, demons, and faeries ... expect, didn't I just mention I was okay with Twilight? Yeah. It's just this was new and foreign to me. So, we added it to the list of approved books.
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The Lost Boy: A Foster Child's Search for the Love of a Family |
Here is the hard truth that I am having to learn about being a mom of a tween. They grow up even when we don't want them too. They learn things we never want them to have to learn. They hear things that we would never want them to hear. I don't live in a bubble. I couldn't prevent her from having a friend whose dad was in prison for molesting them. I can't take the pain away when family members that she cares deeply for pass on. I can only hold her and talk to her. I can only provide her counseling when she needs it and let her explore areas.
She will be turning 12 at the end of February. There is no way around that. She is super smart and super talented. If I try to hold her back or protect her, she will make it her mission to find out why. That is who she is. Is it better for me to allow her the ability to learn things under my watchful eye, rather than through her friends?
What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments below. Are there any good books you would recommend she add to her growing list?
I can understand this, we have a 18 and a 20 year old. They were adopted from Russia 6 years ago. The younger is 18 but from a maturity perspective is much younger. So he gets lots of influence that as parents you wish you could block. I guess that is how it works these days!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this article.
Andy
When our oldest was 10, she had five younger siblings. At that time I read every book and watched every movie before any of our children did. Overprotective? Some would say yes. But Irene and James (our 2nd child) took their position as the oldest kids very seriously, and they had great judgment. So when it got to be too much for me to read and watch everything, they took over as the ones to say what was good or bad to read or watch.
ReplyDeleteOur 7th, Nathaniel, was born when the others were all teens and pre-teens. He didn't stand a chance with six extra moms and dads!! At the same time, he has seen and read things at an earlier age than any of the others. He's 15 now, and still a great kid!
The most important piece of advice I can give you is to continue to build on the foundation you have given your daughter... knowing how to tell right from wrong, and knowing what consequences can follow if she gets into questionable things. Just knowing her mom really cares will go a long way in helping her grow up safely.