It would be easier to give up ... BUT

There are days like today where I have to remind myself why I don't give up. It's a Monday. Everything ABOUT today is a Monday. I live a life of two steps forward and one step back. That's my life. I suffer from mental illness and anxiety plagues me when stress increases. However, I have also been to the breaking point and know what my stresses are now. I have lost my children, worked hard to get them back, and now know what signs to look for when things are just too much. I have a support system now in place when the stress begins to leak out my eyes, I can turn to them. Let me shed a little light on how I now respond when it would be so much easier to give up.

We find out that because husband is working a second job, the state will be taking his FULL amount for child support out of both checks. This means we will be paying MORE for child support than we do for our rent AND electricity combined! This is based on how THEY calculate things. At the end of the year, hubby has paid child support in full ... some months he actually ends up overpaying child support and we get a refund check about 8 weeks later. It depends on the breakdown of his pay on how the state looks at it.

Now, we could look at this and decide to give up because we are paying so much for a child we rarely get to see or talk to. BUT ... we feel blessed for the times we DO get to see him. We feel blessed for Facebook allowing us the ability to see and experience every highlight of his. We feel blessed for modern technology allowing everyone to text to each other. You see ... my husband's son is almost 17. He lives over 3 hours from us. It is not something you can just expect that we will get to see him often. However ... THIS still happened this year!

It would also be easy to tell my husband just to give up and quit his second job. I mean, that's would prevent child support from being so high. However ... BECAUSE he has his second job:

• Battery died on the van ... it was fixed that same night
• Tires needed to be replaced ... we HAVE the money (we have to order the dang special sized tires, but we HAVE the money)
• Our kids have Christmas gifts (albeit, not what we usually give but they HAVE gifts)
• There is REAL food on our table and I don't have to consume dairy anymore!

So, no ... our family situation isn't perfect. We aren't living in a big house or in the JoCo posh area. We don't have two vehicles or even some money left over at the end of the month to act as a cushion. It would be easy to say our lives suck and just give up ... BUT

• We have our dreams
• We have the knowledge this is short term
• We have each other
• We have food
• We have a wonderfully working van that carries ALL of us when needed
• We do have insurance (regardless of how much it may cost us)
• We do have the ability to send our kids to school
• We do have a GREAT friend's network that we can lean on (extremely small and tight knit)
• We have modern technology allowing us the ability to communicate and keep in touch when time and finances prevent it from occurring naturally.

Just remember that when you feel like giving up ... focus on the positives you have in your life. When you feel like the entire year has sucked ... look at what you have gained out of the year. Because that is what I am doing ... for the fourth year in a row. Two steps forward and one step back is STILL moving forward ... it just takes a little longer to get where you want to go.