Reaching my vision through babysteps

So, my focus word this year is Vision and I chose that word because I want to focus on the vision I have for my life. Where I see myself in ten years. I have some pretty hefty ideas, but I can't reach any of them until I break it down into goals that will help me achieve that vision. Each of my goals then must have tasks to achieve those goals. It's a very complicated process. It can also be overwhelming.

To help prevent being overwhelmed, I have decided to look at things in a very micromanaged fashion. I am a Type-A Parent and this year, they are doing a challenge to grow your blog. Since blogging is on my vision board, I decided it would be a great thing to participate in!

Not too late to join either!

Month one is all about looking at your goals for 2015 for your blog, creating a topic editorial calendar, and planning your posts for the month of January. I also worked on a mission statement for my blog. I want this blog to be a place parents can come to find tools and resources, but I also want it to be about caring for your health in mind, body, and soul. Where moms feel empowered and not guilty about being more than moms. It is my hope that through this year, I will be able to fulfill my mission.

In addition to the challenge, I am using a goals planner from Tools4Wisdom. They sent it to me free to test and review, so you will see updates on how this planner is helping me throughout the year! I have started to fill out the front, which is all about your goals and what steps you need to take to achieve those goals. Then you break it down to each month. What is your biggest goal for the month, what are other things you want to achieve that month. After you have that setup, then you can plan your to-dos for the month to achieve  those goals.

Finally, I am making it a mission to fill out a weekly plan sheet for my Mary Kay business. I really want to become a Sapphire Star so I am taking small steps to achieve that goal. I love everything Mary Kay is about, because I am not being pushed to this goal ... it is just one I have set for myself. They don't make me feel guilty about going the pace that I want AND I get 50% off my makeup, so it's a win/win for me.

Anyway, my desk has become chaos with all my planning stages so I am looking forward to having my workspace reorganized. Right now it's a hot mess of highlighters and colored pens.

So, what are your New Year's Resolutions? How are you working to keep them throughout the year?

It's almost time for those crazy resolutions

So, the end of the year is one of the hardest and rushed times for us. I am sure it is for everyone. However, once October 23rd hits, we are going strong with holidays and birthdays until the middle of April (course taxes are then due at the end of April and our anniversary is at the end of May, so ... I digress). If you don't believe me, let me walk you through this:

• October 23 - my birthday
• October 31 - Halloween
• November 24 - Bullfrog's birthday
• 4th Thursday - Thanksgiving
• December 5 - Turtle's birthday
• December 6 - St. Nicholaus Day
• December 24 - Christmas Eve (celebration with Birdwell clan)
• December 25 - Christmas
• December 31 - New Year's Eve
• February 14 - Valentine's Day
• February 28 - Peanut's birthday
• March 6 - Jeremy's birthday
• March 17 - St. Patrick's Day
• April 7 - Monkey's birthday
• April 18 - Oldest son's birthday

Did I forget any holiday that is actually celebrated with things to buy or decorate? Yeah ... so, needless to say, the thought of adding one more thing onto that list just is crazy to me. I am not a huge fan of New Year's Resolutions ... at all. Never really have been ... in fact, this is an echo of my post about this time last year!

I did make a list of things that I truly hoped would come true in 2014 based on my focus word for the year (which was Growth).  Unfortunately, the only thing that REALLY came through was the going to a blog conference. I was able to attend Type-A Con in Atlanta, GA and I WILL be going back in 2015. I have become healthier, but I have tweaked all my goals from last year to match my focus word for this year.

So, what does this mean to me? It means that I AM making resolutions!

*Definition* Resolution - A firm decision to do something.

 My 2015 Resolutions will involve:

1. Continuing to grow my Mary Kay business.
2. Publish my novel
3. Be at or VERY close to my goal weight by the end of the year (within 10lbs)

I am not doing any more resolutions than that because at the end of this year, I see myself healthier using natural methods (diet, exercise, essential oils, etc) and being able to do things without wringing my hands on how it will be accomplished. This is my vision for the next year. I have a vision for the next 5 years and 10 years ... but you know, that is for me to know and only let you guys in on as I see fit. #sorrynotsorry

What is your vision for the next 12 months? Where do you see yourself as it pertains to your health, your life, your family, your business .... Let me know in the comments below. :)

Growing Your Brand

I have had a lot of people ask me how to increase your numbers and grow the visibility of their baby blog. I am one of those baby blogs. I have limited reach, but it IS growing. Everyone has to start somewhere. Most people who have had their blogs blog up have had a post, picture, video, or something go viral. They have gotten lucky and hit on something that people were passionate about or found hilarious. I have not had that happen yet for me. So, I am growing my brand through hard work ... and being me.

Before you stop reading and say "I wanted a quick fix," remember that NOTHING is immediate. There is no quick fix to losing weight. There is no quick fix to being rich (unless you have a trust fund). There is no quick tip on a long-lasting marriage. Everything that lasts takes work. That is just how it is. I knew this going into blogging. Honestly, at the beginning, my blog was just my place to release. It has now become a place where I can reach other people who are going through the same stuff that I am. So ... here I am, offering you my tips on growing your reach.

1. Do a Challenge

There are SO many of these available! In April, you can do the Blogging A to Z. This actually is only 26 days (obviously since there are only 26 letters in the alphabet) but you link up and everyone visits each other's blogs. It has HUGE reach! The 30-Day challenge I am doing right now is simply called 30 Day Blogging Challenge. This is day 1. I will be posting this link in a group with over 200 member who will all have the chance to view it and comment on it. Finally, look at groups like the Biannual Blogathon where you not only work on your posts, but also the blog as a whole.

2. Join a Facebook Group

You may not be into groups, but joining one or two STRONG Facebook groups WILL increase your viewers. You will have people following your blog as well as following your social media. There are different types of groups. You have groups that are designed to boost your social following by listing your social media platform link and following others in that link-up. Biz Blogging Buzz, or B3, is another style that helps with blog comments AND sharing. It is a GREAT networking system and they are ALWAYS looking for new members. You are put into a group and requested to read at least one post from each person each week, and share it to 2 of your social media platforms. Many members read more posts. I know I do because the blogs are SO full of information.

3. Participate in Blogging Communities

You will see on my Partners & Affiliates page that I am partnered with Niche Parents, Blogger Babes, Type-A Parenting, Bloggy Moms, and Mom It Forward. (Still making the logos for my affiliates because I am still overhauling this site) I also partner with test panels such as Snuggle, Chick-Fil-A, and Purex. Find your niche and then look for groups to partner with. I am a parent, so I really try to network with other parenting blogs. We will have similar interests for sponsors and viewers.

4. Listen to Your Viewers

Your readers will give you hints on what direction to take based on what gets shared, viewed multiple times, when views come in, and what gets commented on. It really is up to you to pay attention and then follow their desires.

These are the methods I have used to grow my brand. I had to find out who I was at first ... which honestly was the hardest part. I had SO much that I wanted to get out, but I needed to find a true direction. I am still growing and learning. I learn by going through classes and attending conferences. Never be afraid to take criticism and never feel like you are not good enough to have a big blog.

To make rockstar income ... Think like a Rockstar!

Viewing yourself as the CEO of your blog is the first step to building a business, but you still have to bring in the money. This is where I start to falter. I am struggling to build my fan base and community. Part of that reason was I wasn't being true to myself. I wanted to have thousands of followers on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram ... you name it. I am impatient (probably where my girls get it from) and I didn't want to have to do the work. The only thing I truly knew about acquiring followers was not to do it through purchasing them.

I have since then learned several things ... and since learning them, I have started to immediately notice changes. The Type-A Parent Conference kicked off with Keynote Speaker Mack Collier talking about how to build communities by Thinking Like a Rockstar. He gave me two pages of notes that I plan to pass on to you today.

What an incredible way to start off my first conference for bloggers. While we nibbled on breakfast, Mack started by telling us how to acquire customers. The biggest message he got across to me was that every message you send needs to have relevance. Companies work on getting new customers ... but rockstars market to their current fans. Why? Because their current fans are loyal and they can translate messages into a way that is relevant for their friends. Rockstars don't have to work for their fans!

Mack Collier

Here are four ways rockstars think that work for bloggers as well (and  small businesses)

1. Get in the Face of Your Fans

It is impossible to know what your fans want without interacting with them. They will forget your brand and your purpose if you do not talk to them. Mack said one thing that really resonated with me, and changed how I use Twitter.

"Think about using Twitter as a conversation tool."

Stop viewing social media as a way to make direct sales. It is a passive sales maker. Make sure you are making your fans feel special. Gratitude goes a LONG way. Think about the actions you want from your followers. How do you reward them for those actions?

• Follow you on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Etc - Thank them
• Sign up for your mailing list - Thank them & give them something free
• Comment on blog posts - THANK THEM

2. Give Up Control to Get Control

This is SO hard for me. I am a control FREAK. Seriously, so much so that when I even think about relinquishing control, I fight anxiety. However, giving your customers power and control brings in more customers. Give your fans gifts for contests. Let them promote something they are passionate about. This may sound backwards, but you will find out more about your fans and ways to reach them.

3. Find the "Bigger Idea" Behind the Content you Create

Create content that has the reader in mind. Commercials show you a message you relate to ... THEN the product. When you are blogging ... make sure you share the relevance ... not just the product you are trying to pimp. This is where many people get stuck with direct marketing. Everyone is tired of hearing "buy this" because of this or that. People hate having things shoved down their throat. Direct marketers are trying to change tactics by showing you how their product helps others with visible results. Find the bigger idea ... the idea that will relate to your readers ... the one that will touch them and bring in more fans.

4. Love the People who Love You

This is probably the most obvious but most overlooked. Give your fans special access and benefits that others do NOT get. If someone attends your webinar, allow them access to discounts that the rest of your readers do not get. This is in line with saying thank you, but taking it a step further. You want to give back to those who have followed you, and give them something they value greatly. They will then sing your praises.

So, did this help you as much as it helped me? If so, tell me what resonated the most with you? What changes are you looking at putting into place because of this post. 

You run a business ... Act like a CEO

I was trying to decide which conference session I wanted to start with when I was blogging my recap. There was SO much that I took away from the conference. I recorded all of the sessions I could on audio and took 11 pages of notes! I do know that I am saving my FAVORITE session for the last ... just to keep you on pins and needles ya know.

One of my biggest dilemmas with my blog is I view it as a hobby. I don't push my blog like I push my writing business. I view this realm of my life as personal  because that is how I have viewed it for YEARS. I have been writing on this blog since 2007 ... but only just recently decided to take it out of the personal sector and move it into the business sector. I decided that I want to reach people with my writings. Let people learn from my experiences. I walked into Type-A Conference with that mindset, but walked out with viewing my blog as a business ... MY business.

@DanRMorris & @finding_joy

"Do not let excuses prevent you from moving forward."

I don't know how many times I have let myself get caught up in the thought process of:

• My views are too low
• My reach on Facebook is off
• No one is commenting on my blog

There were so many more that I honestly cannot remember them right now. I am REALLY good at making excuses. Just ask my family ... I am sure they won't lie. LOL! However, I was touched immediately by the comment:

"When the Facebook reach doesn't work, view it as a construction ... re-route!"

 For me, I had a hard time really figuring out who my niche was. I knew that I wanted my blog to be about parenting ... I knew that I wanted to talk about health & wellness ... I knew that mental health meant the world to me ... but I didn't know how to tie it all together. Even if you don't feel like you have a niche, you do. Before you classify your blog as a "lifestyle" blog and lump it in, write down what you want your readers to understand. In order to secure the readers, you have to know what you are selling. YOU are the CEO! What value do you have that you can offer to others.

I realized that I have TREMENDOUS value to offer others. For a period of 10 months, I lived without my children. They were in state care. This is a post for another day. I haven't talked about it on social media and only a few of my close friends really knew. My experience with post-partum depression, bi-polar disorder, and anxiety has completely changed who I am. I have been through things that I could have prevented ... if I knew how. Now that I know ... I have the ability to share that resource to others. I no longer classify this blog as "just another lifestyle blog," but rather one that is going to teach parents (moms specific) how to parent WITH mental illness ... how to parent teens with attitudes and muddle through the technological world ... how to make sure you still remember how to care for yourself. Now that I know where my niche is ... and what value I have to offer you the reader ... I am ready to move on with the rest of the tips on building my business.

Social Media is a great place to grab new readers ... but you want to make sure you lead them home. I have an email list ... but I have done NOTHING with it. This is not good. What happens if Facebook or Twitter shut down tomorrow. I have lost 3/4 of my readers! BOOM. I am working on a freebie that I will give you guys for signing up for my email list. This is coming ... it is not available yet, but it IS coming and it WILL be AWESOME.

Do not think that your business won't fail because it is popular now ... there are a few companies to mention that will show you even the big can fall:

• Sears
• K-Mart
• MySpace
• Circuit City
• Blockbuster

My note to other bloggers & marketers - one of the things I am working on is creating a name for my community. I look at where Kimra Luna has gone with her community that she calls Freedom Hackers. Make your readers feel like they are a member of something important and different.

Guardian Leaders

Guardian leaders are people that you turn to for honest answers. They will ONLY sell people things that benefits them ... nothing more. Part of my struggles with my direct marketing businesses is that I WANT people to buy things. Doesn't everyone? I mean, really? Right? BUT, I don't want them to feel like they have the stuff shoved down their throat ALL.THE.TIME. Like, no joke. I like to advertise and post sales, but I try to only mention certain products when a person talks about a specific problem. I want them to see that I want nothing more than to see them succeed. If you are trying to find a way to squeeze in a snack that requires very little preparation, talk to me about Shakeology. However, if you are wanting to know how to build a workout center from home, let me tell you about what I have done. I have information as well as products ... guardian leaders make sure the information is what keeps their clients coming back. Why? Because once you have someone's trust, you want to guard it with your life. Follow the rules and serve your customers how you want to be served.

Making Money

Alright ... so ... CEOs run a business ... businesses run off of money ... how do you make money? The three BIGGEST ways to make money are:

• Product Creation
• SWAG
• Sponsors

Listen to your readers. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter. Watch what they talk about. They WILL tell you what they want. Products can be eBooks ... and THESE are easy things to make WITHOUT going through Amazon to publish. Simply make a PDF and then use the PayPal button to allow them to purchase the digital file. PayPal will then direct them to your document. Everyone wins and it is super easy. You have just given your readers something they want, and they are giving you something you want!

Create your own shirts, lanyards, and other products to send out swag bags and thank yous. When you have giveaways, if you are mailing the product, send out a thank you kit for entering as well. What you put in your swag bags can also be sold! Shirts do not have to only have your business on them, look at the gear that Cassey Ho has created with her Blogilates empire!

Finally, do not EVER treat a sponsor as ONLY a sponsor. You want them to realize that you LOVE what they represent. The companies that I will be telling you about next week are companies that I adore ... not going to lie, there are some more than others. There were a few that I courted with because I knew that their product was something that *I* could use ... and if *I* could use it ... I knew that my readers could use it. I am a stickler on sticking with non-compete clauses. It is just who I am. Since starting Mary Kay, I have moved away from using ELF, Revlon, and so forth. I love Shark products ... found out they are sister companies with Ninja. Don't be expecting me to talk about Blendtec on my site. Figure out who your sponsors should be by reading the magazines that your readers read. Who takes ads out in them? Google your keywords, go to the third or fourth page. Who needs help and won't care as much about page views? Give them a SOLID partnership plan. Let them know how you plan to help them ... and what you expect from the relationship.

"Be a BIG small person" ... it IS possible!

Final note, I LOVE the live blog that Christina Gleason posted on her blog, "Well, in THIS house." If you are looking for more meat to this, I suggest checking out her post!

Let me know how this has helped you ... let me know what you are looking for. Are you ready to dive deep with me ... follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube ... be with me as I grow!

Back Home

While Type-A ended late Sunday night, I chose to not fly home until Monday evening. The flights were cheaper in the evening, but I also really wanted to enjoy Atlanta while I was there. I was visiting with a friend and I had every intention of shopping.

Okay, so that is the reason I keep telling myself. Because if I tell myself enough ... it will be true, right? In all reality, I was enjoying NOT being a mom. While at the conference, I was learning valuable lessons but seriously .... breakfast was provided for ME, lunch was provided for ME, and dinner was HOT! I didn't find hands under my bathroom door, or the bathroom door being opened while I was showering to tell me about a fight they were having. It was bliss.

So, what did I do in Atlanta and what can you expect over the next few weeks ... let me tell you, BIG things!

Thursday:

Thursday was my first "all about me" day. I didn't have to be at the conference until 4:30pm and so my friend and I went and got Mani/Pedis and ate a nice lunch and dinner. We lounged in the hotel and I decided that I was going to start a novel. Our television didn't work the first day, so we just chillaxed in silence. It really was awesome.

Friday:

Hello massive conference schedule. I got to the hotel EARLY (for me) and didn't leave until LATE. I went to sessions, I chatted with brands/sponsors, and I attended the Disney party. ALL of this info will be spread out over the next few weeks because it is just too much to try to put it into one post. I want to tell you everything I learned and I want to introduce you to some new products coming out REAL soon! First, though, I have to implement some changes on the visual part of my blog ... based on things I learned. Stay tuned and excuse the construction mess.

Saturday:

Saturday was .... interesting. We had this great plan all laid out and it totally went belly up. My friend's phone was stolen so we couldn't connect at the hotel for dinner. Therefore, I went without food from noon to 8pm. She was frustrated (to the max) and I was hungry (to the max). However, I still learned some VALUABLE things in our sessions, and enjoyed the Taste & Share party. 

Sunday:

I have to say that I was SO incredibly sore from walking on Friday and standing a LOT on Saturday that I did not do much on Sunday. I attended the community showcase ... got a few books, some vintage paper dolls, and a homemade lip balm. I then went and laid down at the hotel until the closing ceremony. I just didn't have it in me to do anything else.

Monday:

I was SO glad I rested on Sunday because Monday was all about walking and shopping. We checked out of the hotel just before noon. We then shopped at Nordstrom Rack, Old Navy, and TJ Maxx before heading over to the Lenox Mall. We tried to get pictures of the temple but this ding dong didn't check the schedule BEFORE we left and they are closed on Mondays. Whoops. Oh well, we then battled the beginning of evening rush hour traffic to get me to the airport.

Am I ready to be in charge of meals again ... or laundry ... or cleaning. PFfft. No! However, the vacation of being a mom and everything it entails was GREAT for my sanity. It will also be GREAT for my blog and business. Over the next few days you will get to learn things I learned from notes I took, as well as links to other bloggers take on the sessions. Finally, you will get to learn more about the sponsors I met and mingled with, including:

• WebSafety
• Stealth Power
• Beech-Nut (beyond the baby food)
• California Raisins
• NetGear
• Kids Link
• Domain.Me
• Shark
• Save the Children
• and SEVERAL more

Packing is More Complicated than I Thought

Okay, so I am going to make it very clear that I have NOT been traveling in a LONG time. Well, I am going to actually admit that I am your stereotypically mother who cares more about her children's fashion than herself. And that's okay ... It is OKAY moms for you to dote on your children. What isn't okay though, is to take that appearance before brands and anyone who may make you money.

I must admit, when I started this venture, I assumed I would be able to get all of my stuff packed in my carry-on. Why did I think such nonsense? Because my 11 year old daughter was able to travel to Texas for 7 days with one carry-on. So then, I realized that my daughter didn't have to bring any liquids, because she was going to stay with my sister. Therefore, I figured I can just add another carry-on bag and use it as checked luggage. I was unbelievably surprised to find out that I am inexperienced when it comes to what I need to pack. So ... what am I packing for the conference that takes 1 carry-on size bag, 1 duffel size bag, and 1 medium size suitcase?

Outfits:

• 1 Travel outfit
• 4 Business casual outfits for the conference
• 1 Extra outfit just in case
• 1 Disney-inspired outfit (Linda Flyn Flecher)
• 1 90's outfit (Large flannel shirt, white undershirt, boot cut jeans, and my roper boots)
• Pajamas

Shoes:

• Boots
• Flip flops (mani/pedi & hotel)
• Wedge sandals
• Tennis shoes (touring)
• Heels
• Ballerina Flats (Linda Flyn Flecher)

Extras:

• Business cards
• A FEW media kits
• Notebook
• Pens
• Gifts for friend (cause I'm lazy and didn't want to mail them out last month since I am seeing her THIS month)
• Shakeology & Shaker

Cause I'm a Girl:

• Makeup
• Hair products
• Purse

So, I am still finishing packing ... but I am almost done. Waiting on my package from Kohl's and then doing laundry tonight to get my fave pair of mom pants clean (don't judge ... they are still a necessity).

I was once asked what I hope to get out of this conference and my time away since I am spending so much hard earned money. Honestly ... networking! I do not expect to come home with any new gigs or immediate clients. What I do hope is that I go there and represent Birdcage Media (the blog) and Redbird Empire in a respectable fashion. To show that I am about raising awareness, being a good parent, and empower women to be more than just caregivers. So ... for 6 days ... I am tearing myself away from a VERY loving husband and four beautiful children. I am going to dote on my needs (mental & emotional) and network with others to fulfill my business needs. I am going to let myself forget that I am a mom and get dressed up and actually look presentable. I am VERY excited about this prospect ... and scared at the same time!

Gearing up for Type-A Conference!

This week has been CRAZY. I have never expected to be so jam packed right before a blog conference. Maybe that is because I have never gone to a conference before! So, what have I been doing this week? Get a cup of coffee and join me ...

Last weekend we had a family party, so I had to make sure that my finances were lined up to pay for the gas to Erie, KS, then to Manhattan, then back to Erie, and then back to Kansas City. It cost $150 for the entire trip (gas, food, presents) and we were on the road for 13 hours! It was 100% worth it, but in the meantime, I was setting up ordering ...

Business Cards:

My #DisneySide Outfit (Linda Flyn Flecher):


Getting my haircut ....

So ... am I ready? NO!

I still have to pack my suitcases, get my eyebrows done ... and hopefully have time to squeeze in a mani/pedi before I leave. Otherwise, I will just get one when I get to Atlanta.

Oh ... did I mention that my husband surprised me this week with my new phone?! He got me the Samsung Galaxy S5 ... I have only been waiting it FOREVER!!

Going to Atlanta in September!

Earlier this year, I talked about my focus word for this year was "growth." One of my goals for business growth was to attend a blog conference. I had my eyes set on two of them and my ability to meet my goal has come one-step closer.

A couple months ago, I applied to be a partner with Type-A Parent Conference. It is their 6th year and it is in Atlanta, GA. I knew I had a friend not too far away and we could meet up. I kept checking to see if I had been selected and I got the email this week. I am STOKED. I have never been to a blog conference and I knew this was one of the smaller big conferences. I got on the schedule last night and have already thought about which sessions I am super excited about.

The conference is from the 19th to the 21st in September. The opening keynote speaker is Mack Collier, a social media & marketing guru. He is going to be talking about thinking like a rockstar. Right before lunch, Denene Millner from MyBrownBaby.com is going to be talking about how to write posts that people cannot stop reading. I am SUPER excited about this session because I am always looking for ways to create content that I am excited about … and get my readers excited as well. However, Friday evening has my favorite meet & greets scheduled, Disney Parks #DisneySide Welcome Reception. I am sure that by the time I get back to my hotel, I will be wiped out.

The Expo opens on Saturday, and there is plenty of time to make the rounds and visit with sponsors while still attending sessions. After a wonderful critique on a blog post about needing pictures that can be pinned, I am going to attend Beautiful Blogging – How to Take Amazing Pictures for your Posts, which will be taught by Lucrecer Braxton from Lucrecer.com. The night ends with a Taste & Share Party, and then I may go out with my friend while we are in town!

Finally, the conference ends on Sunday with a bang. There are more sessions, but there is a town hall meeting for bloggers to bounce ideas around. The conference doesn't end until nearly midnight on Sunday, so I am flying home on Monday.

The best part about this conference is it is not only for Type-A Parent members. They have a conference for the kids to attend, so it is great for the entire family. Just a few of the sponsors includes Disney Parks, Beech-Nut, Hasbro, and California Raisins.

If this sounds like fun to you, then you still have time to get your tickets! In fact, you can use the code BLOGPARTNER at the check-out for an additional 25% off. This code is only valid for 24 hours ... so what are you waiting for?

Hoping a dream of mine comes true this fall

I have been blogging for MANY years, but turned it into a profession in 2012. This was when I decided to take my writing to the next level. I have several dreams and goals with my writing. I want to talk to you about one of them today.

*Note - The links and graphics in this blog contain affiliate links.*

I have always dreamed about attending a blog conference. I have a long list of conferences that I want to attend, including the Bloggy Boot Camp, Type-A Parent, Go Blog Social, Blog U, and Bloggy Con.

Bloggy Con is only $85 and I have several months to prepare, so that was the goal I chose for this year. Not to mention that it is very close to a friend I have been wanting to hook up with for three years!

So, what do you need to know about Bloggy Con? Let me tell you a little bit since I have been researching for awhile now!

When: September 12 to 14, 2014
Where: Sandusky, Ohio (Cedar Point)
Price: $85 for blogger and $165 for businesses

What is included in that price?

• All conference sessions and events
• Three meals (breakfast & lunch on Saturday, breakfast on Sunday)
• Tickets to Cedar Point (2 if you stay at a regular hotel, 5 if you stay at Cedar Point) - only valid during that weekend

A few notes -
There is a discount to a Cedar Point hotel, making it easier to afford getting the 5 tickets
There is a parking fee, but if you stay at a Cedar Point Resort, the parking fee is reimbursed.
You do NOT have to be a mom OR a blogger to attend!!

This is one of the most family friendly blog conferences there is. You can bring your family to enjoy the time with you, and you can bring infants to the sessions.



Join us for Bloggy Conference 2014 on the beautiful shores of Lake Erie at Cedar Point!
Full Conference Blogger Passes are available at $85: Click Here ToRegister!

Full Conference Business Class Tickets are also available at $165: Click Here To Register!

Still working on conquering fear

So, my writing prompt today was this picture. I have to start this with the acknowledgement that I have a LONG way to go with conquering my fear.

I think that one of my biggest goals this year is to be able to work through my anxieties. I don't know how successful I will be, but I need to at least make small steps. I have developed serious anxieties through the trials and tribulations I have gone through. Being honest, I am being treated for social anxiety and General Anxiety Disorder. I have things that help me through my anxiety. If anyone else is having problems with anxiety, you are not alone! It is not imaginary. However, I am also learning that you do not have to live with it ruling over you.

First, we need to define the difference between worrying and anxiety disorder. I am going to define it as my therapist stated to me. For the longest time, I was convinced I was just a worry wort and needed to get over it. I am learning, however, that I have anxieties that are disrupting my ability to live a normal, healthy life. GAD is better shown as:

 

Friends: One of my biggest sources of support with my struggles are with my friends. I have a couple very close friends that I can talk to. It is really awesome to have people in my life that I know I can just vent to and they understand. They are the ones that know me well enough to know that parties are such a HUGE deal for me. As I have stated before, I love to plan parties but I have a great tendency of cancelling when the date comes. If I can find an out, I will take it. Thankfully, I have friends that understand this and make sure that I feel comfortable and can talk about things.

Self-Soothing: Another method that I have used to deal with my anxiety is with self-soothing methods. From the time a person is born, they find ways to soothe their anxieties. Infants nurse or cling close to their parents, toddlers will find a favorite blanket or stuffed animal, and children will begin to learn how to deal with changes. Through experiences that happen through life, your ability to handle everything will change. You develop fears based on things that scared you in the past. I am beginning to learn methods of self-soothing that will help me deal with the fear and anxiety of the unknown. One is to sleep. I am starting to sleep on things and try not to panic immediate. The other is being okay with crying. It sounds childish, but sometimes with a good cry, I just feel better. You can also use meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, and exercises.

So, with all that said, I am still growing and learning. I do seek therapy and am looking at re-starting Cognitive Behavior Therapy where they will work on calming my anxieties. I am also on medication. I wish I could give you more advice to dealing with anxiety, or state that it is a game, but I can't. I really enjoy being out of the house, but it isn't as easy as just jumping in the car and going. If someone tells you that they have trouble getting out and doing things, don't assume they are lazy. I leave my comfort zone for my children. It takes a LOT of work, but I know how much it makes them happy to do things. You are not alone and it is not something to be ashamed of. I am looking forward to continuing to grow and break some of the barriers I have built in my life.

Was invited to share on a website

A site that is just taking off was presented to me thanks to my LinkedIn account. The owner was telling me that the site offers a word once  week and users are encouraged to post something that the word makes them think about. The posting can be a thought, a short blog post, a picture, or even a poem. I never realized just how much it would help me with my focus word this year!

This week's word on Hone Life is Yellow:

For me, the color yellow immediately reminds me of summer and sunflowers. I am a Kansas Native and I look forward to driving past all of the wild sunflowers and Black-Eye Susans when I am taking a trip. When I was younger, we would go to my grandparents' house in Wichita and I spent a great deal of time looking outside my window. I had an imaginary horse that ran beside the van and would often gallop through fields of wheat that were surrounded by wild sunflowers.

Sunflowers are technically a weed ... but they are a beautiful weed. I have always believed this to show that regardless of what someone is classified as, they do not have to be tied to that definition. People put sunflowers into bouquets and they add a beautiful touch. Just as a person who may be disfigured can offer something that will complete a project, another person, or any other place in society.

As I was thinking about what sunflowers were and what they add to a bouquet, I realized that no matter what I think of someone ... they fit into the big picture. We need to spend less time on the classification of a person (age, race, gender, beliefs, etc) and more on what that person has to offer.

To see the other postings on yellow, you need to visit honelife.com

Taking Back the Control - Discredit the Myths

I am a Type A person. I do not like to get behind on my work, and I will often take on more than I probably can handle. Okay, so not probably ...definitely cannot handle without rearranging my life. I hate when things are out of my control. I will have anxiety attacks and become irritable. I do not have the ability to see things clearly, and I feel everything is a personal attack. I am sure that many others have felt this way as well. I have felt that I was personally attacked over the last year, and I hate it. I hate my gut questioning every look, every question, every whisper. I got an email letting me know about a free webinar that was going to take place this week. Even better is the fact that the videos are available after the call so I can watch them at my leisure. Watching the Mom Is In Control Telesummit, I had my ah ha moment. 

Source

I have been letting others make me feel inferior because I lacked the knowledge of how to take control of my life. Last night I spent reflecting on decisions I had made based on reactions instead of conscious decisions. I realized that I needed to take the power and control back. The only way to do that is through dispelling the myths that I had come to believe.

1. Pictures are Misleading - You see pictures in magazines, on the Internet, or scrolled in television commercials. They show children that love on each other and the house looks spotless. The parents give some line about this program that they have used, and it has created bliss. Do NOT buy it. I am not saying that they do not have a MORE blissful life now (cause I do) or that their children do not love each other (cause mine do). I am also not claiming that homes are not spotless (cause mine is now AFTER the children go to bed), but I am saying that you should not believe it happens around the clock. Kids will be defiant. They will yell at you and yell at their siblings. They will trash the house and make you cry.

Just because there are pictures you see show blissfully sleeping children, pristine homes, great relationships ... it does not mean it is always that way. It also does not mean it was that way minutes before the photograph was taken.

2. Breaks in Routine Cause Bad Chaos - Routines are great. They really are. However, spontaneity does not always cause bad chaos. Shaking up a routine every now and then is a great way to reconnect with your children. It is also a cheap way to reward them. Let them stay up an extra 30 minutes out of the blue. When they ask why, you can simply let them know because they have just really impressed you lately. Have a picnic on your living room floor instead of at the kitchen table. The options are limitless. I do understand that there are children who do not fair well with change (I have one), but I can tell you that every once in a while, even that child loves a shake-up.

3. Peaceful Road Trips are Possible - You will find that no matter how much you plan, you will not always have a great road trip. Accept it, get comfortable with the notion, and then do the best you can to plan for any possible meltdowns. The key to long car rides is your ability to adapt. Having snacks, games, coloring sheets, and plenty of breaks is the best way. Where many families go wrong, is they assume the faster they get to the destination, the better. With children, this is not the case. Take your time, allow your child to decompress every now and then. Planning for the discomfort of road trips will make the trip more peaceful.

4. Stay-at-home Moms Should Have Spotless Homes - This is the DUMBEST thing that has EVER been said. I joke because I will let my kids make crafts so that I have the ability to clean up the mess they made in the living room. They are almost 3 and 1, so they don't fully understand putting everything back away, but they try. I will have trails of Cheerios and bread crumbs. After letting them do crafts, I have to clean the table. After letting them play in their room, I have to help them put everything back. I have not even touched the dishes, bathrooms, windows (that have little finger prints on them), and so on. Most of that is all done after they go to bed. So when someone visits me during the day, they get to experience life with the little ones, and I am okay with that. Just because I stay at home, I do not put my child in a playpen with a couple rattling toys and keep my home pristine. Just because I work from home, does not mean that I will send my child to a daycare so that I can have my house in a spotless condition. I work from home so I can spend time with my children. (I know, kind of a DUH thought there).

5. Ages and Stages - Do not let ANYONE tell you that your child will be awful just because they are 2. Your child is exploring boundaries. By allowing that in a safe manner, you will prevent the meltdowns. My 2 year old has very few meltdowns. She is a very active child and into a lot of stuff. She is very mouthy (needs to chew, lick, suck on everything), and she loves to stand on things. We give her things that are okay for that. She has a need to touch bumpy things. We give her shirts that allow her to play with her belly button and let her have sensory books. Just because someone else says something about children at specific ages or stages, it does not make it true. Just as the statement your child will always be sick in public school is not true. My children do not come home sick very often. Take care of your health and perception, and then you will see a change in your reality.

Take control of your life. This is my personal growth. The ability to change my perception and not let anyone make me feel a certain way. It is going to be a long process, but this is step one.

Changes over a decade

I was asked to select a photo from 10 years ago, and compare it to a photo taken recently. What has changed? How do I view myself differently? Well, 10 years ago I had a 1 year old and now I have an 11, 9, 3, and 1 yr old (rounding up for my early 2014 birthdays). I have learned and changed, a lot. I have discovered those who accept me for who I am, those who are willing to hold my hand through trials, and those who were friends for statistical purposes (at least that is what I see them as now).

12/03

11/13

One of the hardest things one can ever do is look back over the past decade. I had a hard time selecting a photo of myself from late 2003 to match with 2013. Not because I hated the way I looked, but because I was not into having my photo taken. I have thousands of photographs of Peanut, though.

That got me thinking. Much of my life has been spent thinking about my weight. I am always depressed about my size. What is scary is that between 2003 and 2013, I have gained 60 pounds. I have not lost much more than 30 and put it all back on. This year, that is going to change. I am working to get my affairs in order and reserve 90 minutes a day that is mine. That is when I will work out and then shower.

Many moms will agree that it is very hard to put yourself first at any point in the day. Especially when you have children that need you. However, I realized that I am having a hard time keeping up with them. I don't care why this may be, I just want it to change. To make it easier for me, I have told myself that I want the change FOR the kids.

Here are my goals:
~ Work out 30 min a day 3x a week. After 4 weeks of success, I will bump it up to 4x a week. Again, after 4 weeks of success, I will bump it up to 5x a week. This will repeat until I do some form of exercise every day of the week.
~ Eventually work up to Blogilates & purchase the Fitness Journal
~ Eat clean (meat at 1 meal and other protein at all other meals, vegetarian 1 day a week)
~ Drink more water
~ Be completely soda free by my birthday (10/23/2014)
~ Make meals from scratch again by the time school is out (end of May 2014) using my subscription to eMeals (ask me how to enter a drawing for an iPad).

So... what is my end goal?

While I would love this transformation-

   

 I will be happy with any steady weight loss and an increase of energy.